Hi, I'm Sam Hausman. I'm a stand-up comedian. I'm seventeen years old, which makes it difficult because I sympathize with the children that I dangle by the ankles to get their lunch money.

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    The guy in the back. He’s like two dimensional. Cardboard cutout.

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    dcglaslow: This picture just made me laugh so damn hard. The rock is excited.

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    oh. em. gee. i take it back drake. sorry. marry me rock.

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